INFINITY Welcomes Careful Drivers

It's just after 3:00 am and I should be in bed. I'm not, however. In fact, I just got in. I stayed up late to catch the midnight showing of Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull at Southpoint tonight. I've gotta say, it was simply amazing, in my fanboy opinion at least. It has thrills, chills, laughs, action, adventure. It has EVERYTHING that makes Indiana Jones moves so great.

Before I go on, you need to understand that by clicking on the Read More link, you WILL see spoilers. So, SERIOUS SPOILER ALERT!! SPOILERS AHEAD! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HAVE THE MOVIE SPOILED FOR YOU, DO NOT READ THIS ARTICLE ANY FURTHER!!! YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Scroll down for the rest of the review... Again, SPOILERS AHEAD!
























































Indiana Jones is as dear to me as Star Wars is. In fact, the Indy franchise may be even dearer because, unlike Star Wars, which is a space western, Indiana Jones is all American, steeped in real history, and while quite improbable, somewhat plausible.

Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull is no disappointment at all. In fact, it contains pretty much every element that makes the movies so great, and so entertaining. It's got bad guys, car chases, explosions, ancient ruins, world history, fight scenes, great stunts and a wide-eyed sense of wonder that makes it difficult to remember that Indiana Jones movies are really mostly a series of improbable events.

The movie opens with the well known Lucas Films logo, followed by the Paramount logo. We open then on a wide open prairie in which a bunch of kids in a hot rod are shooting across the dirt having the time of their lives. They end up on the road, smack in the middle of an army convoy. After some preliminary fun involving a drag race, the kids head off into movie nothingness while the convoy pulls up to a military installation.

Bad guy stuff ensues and the convoy pulls up in front of a weathered hanger. Here we get the first of what I'll call the Indiana Jones money shots. Two guys are dragged out of the trunk of a car. The bad guys, who we still dont know yet as they have not spoken a word, throw the men to the ground, and a familiar looking hat follows. One man stands and raises his hands. The other stands, and we see his sillouette against the lead car as he places the fedora on his head. And thus, Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull beings.

The year is 1957. Indy has become a tenured professor of History. Yet here he is, and we very quickly learn that the Nazis who were the featured bad guys have been replaced by, who else but those darned Russkies. Yes, Crystal Skull takes place right smack in the middle of the Cold War and the Big Red Scare.

We are treated to a real series of improbable events, putting Indy in what surely must be an action/adventure version of Forrest Gump. We learn that Indy was a war hero during WWII, a highly decorated member of the OSS, the forefather of the CIA. Indy is present at a nuclear bomb test in which the film crew very beautifully created the most famous nuclear test ever filmed. The fake town full of mannequins being blown to pieces. Of course, Indy escapes, leading to Indiana Jones Money Shot number two, one of the coolest shots of Indy I have ever seen. It involves him walking up to the top of a hill and being silhouetted against a freaking mushroom cloud.

The next Forrest Gump moment comes as Indy is accused of being a Red Commie agent by the FBI. And was that the Janitor from Scrubs playing one of the agents?!?

The movie moves along quickly. We get the traditional Indy moving around the globe via an old map with animated lines interspersed with shots of airplanes flying. We get three car chases too. The first takes place in Area 51, which we learn is the secret government location where "Top Men" are working on the Ark of the Covenant, along with thousands of other anonymous crates collecting dust. Of course, you know where this has to go. Roswell. Yes, believe it or not, the Roswell crash of 1947 even plays into it.

The second great chase is after Indy meets Mutt, played by Shia Labouf, who was an exellent choice. He plays the part as the smart kid who ends up in rebellion, his character starting off as a tribute to James Dean in Rebel Without a Cause. Of course, this chase involves the evil Russians chasing them as they ride off on one of the most American of transportation models, the Harley Davidson.

The adventure takes us to South America where Indy unravels the mystery of his old friend Oxley, with the KGB hot on their tales. We see old graves, ancient ruins and the third car chase involving more military vehicles through the jungle, and Mutt doing an improbable Tarzan impression as he swings through the trees on vines followed by an army of Angry Monkeys.

It's in the jungle that we see Marion again, and I have to say, she's aged well. She's far better than Willie from Temple of Doom, and thankfully, instead of being a squeamis screaming girl, she is quick, smart, and can certainly handle herself.

It's also here were we learn that Mutt is Marion's son and that his real name is Henry. Yes... Henry. As in Henry Jones the Third. Indy has a son. So here's where we get the idea that the Indy legacy can continue for a good while after Harrison Ford becomes too old to continue.

We also get a great fight scene in the middle of a swarm of giant pissed off ants that carry a couple unlucky KGB goons into their nests to be eaten and Indiana Jones Money Shot number 3. We see the ants carrying off Indy's trademark Fedora and just before they carry it into the nest, they suddenly drop it and flee as Indy chases it off with the power of the Crystal Skull. There he picks up his hat, places it on his head and stands atop the mound in that classic Indy pose.

I won't go into the rest of the movie too much. Needless to say, it was an amazing adventure and worthy of the Indiana Jones franchise. We finally meet the aliens, finally get to see an ancient temple that has the requisite booby traps and crazy ancient mechanisms and of course, we get to see the bad guys die.

The acting was spot on. Of course this isn't supposed to be some grand thoughtful piece that makes us look to our inner selves and resolve to change our ways. It's the movie equivalant of a pulp novel or a Saturday morning serial.

Spielberg works his magic as always, showing that he can still make the best movies. Harrison Ford proves that no one but him could be Indiana Jones. And finally, we are treated to Almost Mutt Money Shot.

Indy and Marion get married. Just at the end of the ceremony, the doors blow open and the wind blows Indy's fedora to land at Mutts foot. Mutt picks it up, looks at it and smiles and just about puts it on his head. Is this where we finally see the hand off to the next generation? No... Indy take the hat, puts it on, smiles at his son and walks with Marion arm in arm into the next movie.

Harrison Ford has said in interviews that he would certainly be up for an Indy 5, and should the go farther, Shia Labouf would make a perfect add on.

I really did enjoy the movie. It was fun, action packed and as I said, everything an Indiana Jones movie should be.