INFINITY Welcomes Careful Drivers

I've received this internet forward at least 5 times now by people who really should know better:

I'm against the $85 BILLION bailout of AIG. Instead, I'm in favor of giving $85,000,000,000 to America in a "We Deserve It" dividend. To make the math simple, let's assume there are 200,000,000 bona fide U.S. citizens, aged 18+.

Yes, let's make the math simple...

Our population is about 301 million counting every man, woman and child.

So, 200,000,000 might be a fair stab at adults 18 and up. Now, divide 200 million, 18+ adults into $85 billion - that equals $425,000.00 each! Yes, my plan is to give that $425,000 to every adult as a "We Deserve It" dividend.

And it goes on and on and on trumping up this grand fantasy. But really, do people not understand basic math anymore? Or is this part of that "New Math" that kids are being taught these days? Really? $425,000?  read more »

This is awesome! I have a cat that looks similar to the one in the video, and he reacts a lot like this one does when I start aggravating him. My wife thinks cats are so great, but this is proof that tortoises are even better.

If you're reading this, then two events of Earth Shattering and Life Ending proportions have come to pass with nary a hair lost in their wakes of death and destruction.

The first of these is the opening of the new McDonald's on the Hwy 64 Bypass in Pittsboro. I read the cries of the many on the Chatham Chatlist in angered protest against McDs coming to town as person after person revealed their most intimate painful memories of how this mega-corporation had sewn the seeds of chaos in their lives.  read more »

So here we are at Myrtle Beach. Everyone else is headed up to Calabash and Sunset Beach to hang out on the sand and go play in the ocean. Dana has a bit of an eye thing going on, so we need to find an urgent care place to go to.

So why have we just spent nearly 40 minutes calling office after office after office trying to find an urgent care, rapid care, or some other sort of non-ER medical center? Every one is either closed, not near us, or knows of another one closer, but doesn't know what their phone number is.  read more »

So I've been up for a VERY long time now. I tried to go to sleep last night, but didn't really drift off until after 1am. Then, at about 3:30am, Patches woke me up because she REALLY had to go out to fertilize my yard. I've been up ever since, running on 2 and a half hours of sleep, some caffinated tea, and a handfull of caffine pills.

So what do I do when I get to work, in this horrible state of mind? I Google myself. I haven't done that in a while, so I thought, why not. Much to my surprise, I am now the number 1 result when you search for "Jeff Lane" on Google. Holy Crap! I am finally number one at SOMETHING!

Ok... I know, big freakin' deal, but in my delirious sleep deprived state, I am very easily excitable, especially once the caffine pills start making me twitchy ;-) And to prove my newfound status as the number one Jeff Lane on the interwebs, I present to you a screen shot:
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I've got several things going for me with this gem from the BBC. First, I suffer from a fairly healthy dose of paranoia when it comes to checking baggage for a flight. I don't like the idea that my bags are ever out of my sight, though I understand there is now way the airlines or their lawyers would ever consent to allowing me to load my own luggage (other than carry-ons, of course) onto an aircraft. But I also don't like the idea that people can just rifle through my personal effects. Things get stolen that way.  read more »

I haven't written a lot at all lately. Nothing for a good long while, as a matter of fact. Partly this is because there is nothing much going on in my life. My days consist of getting up, going to work, working, coming home, and going to bed... rinse, repeat.

On Thursday nights, I teach a 100 level Linux course at the local Community College. The one good thing is that this is not one of those adult education or seminar type classes, it's a "real" college course that is part of several degree programs. The job is fun, the students are good people, and I have not been paid yet, despite being there since the beginning of the semester, on 10 January.

Most of my free time at home has been tied up in photography. I've been working on a 356 Days project on Flickr, trying to do one self portrait a day for a full year. I usually end up doing 3 or 4 days at once and posting them all together though, just because that's how my life is. My last few involved alcohol, firearms and computer equipment. I have a feeling that this weekend will be similar. So with that in mind, I present to you, a classic drink that is sure to get your weekend off to a good start:

Go Fuck Yourself

Mix in glass one part each of:
Rumplemintz (peppermint schnapps)
Jagermeister
Goldschlager (cinnamon schnapps)
Bacardi 151 Rum
Yukon Jack whiskey (or similar proof wiskey)

Drink straight, after shaking in a shaker with ice. The first one will taste like a bag of burnt assholes with a minty finish. The ones following that will taste like water. 4 of these, and you should be stumbling drunk in no time!

Drink responsibly, and have a ball!

The clip below is from an episode of Trading Spouses (I think... either that or Wife Swap). All I can say is Holy Crap! I knew that people could get like this, that ignorance can lead to some jaw dropping things, but I've never seen anything like this before.

The sad thing is, her husband and kids are all sitting around excited that she is coming home. They have gifts in hand and are prepared to welcome her home with all their love. Then you get to see their smiles turn into horrified looks of shock as she immediately starts screaming at everyone about being tainted with darkness and all this other typical overzealous religious drivel. Click the Read More link to see the video and Marguerite Perrin in all her Glory.  read more »

I just spent 4 hours tracking down a samba permissions issue. I am going out of my mind now. And I REALLY hate the people who created SELinux. SELinux is an abortion of common sense. It is, in my humble opinion, a lot like Sendmail programming. Only a select few have any idea how it works, or how to effectively use it. The rest of us (and I tend to count myself among the more knowledgeable out there) are left banging our heads against solid objects thanks to the weirdness that SELinux produces.  read more »

UPDATE: It appears that the asshats at WBC intend to protest funerals of Tech students. When I find a date for this, I am probably going to take a day and return home and join others who will stand against them and the hate they spew.

First of all, I am sorry if I seem to ramble. Yesterday I was in full on Analytical Mode and was busy digesting all the data I could find relating to the shootings at Tech. This morning, the emotional stuff hit me hard, so I have been having a rough day of it. Thankfully, everyone I know was either off campus or on a different part of campus. I don't think I know of anyone who would have been in the buildings that the murders occured, but I won't know for sure until they release the names of the victims publically.

I noticed today that I have had several unique visitors to my site, 100% of which got here because they were searching google for some combination of Westboro Baptist Church and Virginia Tech. WTF people? Why would you even make the connection? Well, admittedly, it is unfair of me to even ask that, because one of the first things that occured to me yesterday is that Fred Phelps and his inbred wacko family would turn this into some sort of hate filled theological message. I was right in that assumption, as the search strings seem to indicate.  read more »